How Do You Like Me Now? by Holly Bourne
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Wow..this book!!! I read an ARC of this back in December and I am so happy I can finally start gushing over it.
Have you ever read a book that just speaks to you? This book was that for me. There is so much about it that is so real and so relevant and that I could really relate to. I wanted to just shout “YES!!!!”, it’s so completely and totally spot on. I like to highlight quotes as I read and can honestly say I’ve highlighted half of this book. It’s just so well written.
THE BLURB
‘Turning thirty is like playing musical chairs. The music stops, and everyone just marries whoever they happen to be sitting on.’Â
Who the f*ck is Tori Bailey?
There’s no doubt that Tori is winning the game of life. A straight-talking, bestselling author, she’s inspired millions of women around the world with her self-help memoir. And she has the perfect relationship to boot.
But Tori Bailey has been living a lie.
Her long-term boyfriend won’t even talk about marriage, but everyone around her is getting engaged and having babies. And when her best friend Dee – her plus one, the only person who understands the madness – falls in love, suddenly Tori’s in terrifying danger of being left behind.
When the world tells you to be one thing and turning thirty brings with it a loud ticking clock, it takes courage to walk your own path.
It’s time for Tori to practice what she’s preached, but the question is: is she brave enough?
The debut adult novel by bestselling author Holly Bourne is a blisteringly funny, honest and moving exploration of love, friendship and navigating the emotional rollercoaster of your thirties.
MY REVIEW
This was my first book from Holly Bourne (and the first adult book she’s written) but it won’t be my last. From the blurb I was expecting the standard chick lit or romcom type book that is all too common but this has so much more depth and realism to it than I ever could have anticipated.
As someone who is single and in their thirties (Edit: I was in my thirties when I read it so it still counts) I could relate to so much of this story. How it seems that at a certain age everyone suddenly starts getting married and having kids and how this creates a barrier between you. How scary the thought of being on your own, or never having children can be and how sometimes it feels like you’re losing at life if you’re not blissfully happy, married and popping out babies. How you can feel judged and inadequate for putting your career first, or for those with kids, for not being the right type of mother.
I don’t really like making comparisons but for me this had echoes of Bridget Jones Diary. It’s less of a romance but while Bridget was made to feel like there must be something wrong with her for being single by the smug marrieds, Tori is made to feel the same for not being a mother. Some of the things said to her are truly awful but I know from personal experience that it does happen. I could completely understand her jealousy and the feeling she had that she was trapped on the wrong side of a wall.
There are a number of other very relevant themes prevalent throughout this story. Our obsession with social media at the expense of enjoying the moment (if there’s no pictures on insta it didn’t happen), the endless quest for validation from a bunch of strangers on the internet, how success is determined by how many likes or comments something gets. It really made me question my own obsession with twitter and instagram. Tori may have driven me nuts with how obsessed she was with presenting the best image of herself, the idea that she has the perfect life and all the answers but really she was just an exaggerated version of a lot of us.
I did love the strong feminist vibe that runs through this book. I may not have loved Tori but I loved how she challenged those claiming to be feminists. One of my favorite moments was when she was on a panel with a man claiming to be a feminist, she may have been drunk but she was hilarious and absolutely spot on.
Her relationship with Tom made for some difficult reading and I absolutely hated it and kept praying she would end it but as the book points out starting over in anything is a much more daunting prospect in your 30s than in your 20s. There’s a definite feeling that you’re locked into the decisions and the path you’re on and just have to make the best of it.
If I had one minor qualm about this book and it is minor it’s that I just couldn’t understand Tom’s behaviour. He was just so horrible and manipulative. I can’t believe it was deliberate but I can’t accept that he didn’t know what he was doing.
I’ve probably made this sound like quite an intense read, dealing with heavy and depressing issues, but it’s not like that at all. There was the odd heartbreaking moment but there were more than a few that were hilariously funny, many of which involved best friend Dee (and often some kind of celebratory event). My personal favorite was a baby shower and some discussion over landing strips, I’m saying no more except that Tori is truly gifted at saying exactly what I would be thinking.
Thank you Holly Bourne for creating such a wonderful book and if you’re still reading after all of my waffling thank you too. If you can’t tell I absolutely loved it and would recommend everyone read this immediately. I kind of hope it’ll encourage women everywhere to maybe be a little less judgmental about how others choose to live their life.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC. As always all views are my own.
So yeah I may have wandered off my reading plan over the weekend but I couldn’t resist picking up Circe by Madeline Miller and needless to say once I picked it up there was no way I was putting it down until I finished it. It is absolutely brilliant. It will definitely be making my list of favorite reads in 2018. I’ve always been fascinated by Greek mythology but had forgotten a lot of it. In Circe, the author really brings a lot of these stories to life and it actually feels like you’re living them. The character development is incredible and I loved how she made these Greek gods and heroes (Odysseus, Daedalus) so incredibly real and flawed. I am going to have to get my hands on a copy of The Song of Achilles as soon as possible.
I did enjoy this story but part of me wishes that I’d just bought it as an ebook rather than listening to it on audio. I can imagine it’s much better to just sit and immerse yourself in the story rather than dipping in and out every couple of days. It may just have been that I’ve been reading the original stories fairly recently but this reminded me a lot of Sherlock Holmes. One character in particular, Thomas Cresswell, seems to pretty much be Sherlock and a lot of his methods and character are absolutely identical. I did guess who Jack the Ripper was very early on (it was kinda obvious) but it was still a good read and I will no doubt read the next books in the series.
The third and final book finished this week was The Last Family in England which I’d received from NetGalley. I’m pretty sure this has been out for a while but it seems to be getting re released (probably due to the success of How to Stop Time). This was a very emotional read for me. I don’t think I would have requested this if I’d known just how upsetting this story would be. I love animals and tend to get more emotionally invested in them than I do in people so I generally avoid books about animals (even if I know they get a happy ending). It is however wonderfully written and contains so many keen insights and observations on the modern family and relationships. This was my first book by Haig and while I can’t say I “enjoyed” it (it was too sad for that). It has shown me how good his writing is.
After Ash Princess I couldn’t face another YA fantasy and having received a copy of Vox from NetGalley I couldn’t resist reading a few pages. Needless to say I ended up finishing the whole thing the same day. It’s an absolutely fascinating premise in that in this society women are only permitted to speak 100 words a day. Their role is to stay at home, cook, clean, garden and raise the children while their menfolk make the decisions, go out to work. It’s a little similar to Handmaid’s Tale but without the forced baby factory element. I very much enjoyed it. It’s not out till August so unfortunately too early for a review but I would recommend.
A Bookish Life 